Tuesday, July 21st, 2009

10 Minutes with a Fly Girl

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We caught up with Millie, one of our fabulous Fly Girls, to separate the in-flight fact from fiction, and in the process learned all about her love of lavatories and pet peeves.

Fact: V Australia is both humorous & ironic

I never expected to find so much kitsch it one work place! Australia has the Big Banana, the Big Crab, the Big Pineapple, and the Dog on the Tucker Box; now it has another cultural icon – the V Australia 777. It’s worth just taking a trip to check out the “fully sic” spew bags, our miniature Opera House Salt and Pepper shakers, the “flying sauces” that accompany our tea cups and the Where’s Wally style Australian wall paper positioned throughout the cabin.

FlyGirl-Bathroom_150dpi_RGB-1Myth: “mirror, mirror, who is the fairest flight attendant of them all?”

Mirrors are scarce, and as a highly valued flight attendant resource it’s open season when one becomes available. Half the time the fly girls are fighting the fly boys for a bit of preening space.

Any decent flight attendant worth her trolley will know that there is no such thing as natural beauty and that a plane’s lavatory mirror never lies; every flaw and open pore is magnified under the stark lighting.

Pet Peeve: Hummers, Crop Dusters & Town Troubadours

Sitting in a cabin in a pressurized environment can be tricky. I know we have a lot of mileage to cover, but be fuel efficient.  No one likes a gas leak.

The usual suspects come in two forms – the Hummer and the Crop Duster. The Hummer is loud and proud. They use a lot of fuel and are happy to remain parked and expel gas from the one location. The Crop Duster likes to permeate their scent through out the cabin – usually under the pre-tense of ‘stretching their legs”. The Crop Duster’s reach is far and wide and they spread the seeds of discontent to the widest crop of people.

You may think you have arrived because you are flying with V and feel safe in the serenity of our little aviation community; that is the cabin, but you are not the town troubadour; if you need to blow your trumpet please use our wonderful lavatories.

Think of our lavatories as an ozone layer from which noxious gases must not pass. Our lavatories are a sound proof respite from the noise and bustle of the cabin. Toot along to the sounds of the Beach Boy’s Good Vibrations and Groove Armadas “I see you baby shaking that ass” – you’ll like it and your fellow passengers and crew will appreciate it.

That’s all for now, friends, but stay tuned for more witty banter with Millie.  To contribute to the conversation share your questions below and we’ll pass our favorites on to the Fly Girls.

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